We’ve all been there before. You wake up in a foreign place wearing last nights clothes and smelling of [insert cheap liquor of choice] with a confused look and what seems like an army of toddlers banging pots and pans inside your head. You stumble around searching for clues to explain how you ended up in your neighbor’s front yard, and check a newspaper to make sure it’s still May. You realize you’re okay alive and check your phone for even more clues: you placed a call to your ex-girlfriend at 2:33AM. And again at 2:35. 2:36. 2:41. 5:15. You have three voice mails, a few texts (one from your ex asking you to stop calling because, you know, its five in the fucking morning). Then reality sets in as your stomach turns and your hunger for sausage egg and cheese bagels becomes unbearable. You check your back pocket to see that you’ve spent all $60 in cash that was in your wallet, and you have a few receipts for disgusting amounts from your favorite bar, including a credit card bill for $1.39, because, at 4 AM, Slim Jim seemed like a sound purchase. Your best friend calls you and asks why you’re not at that social event you promised last night that you would attend. He says you had a conversation, but you say ALL I REMEMBER IS……
Remember, it happens to the best of us. But, usually, it happens to the worst of us. At least there isn’t a tiger in your bathroom.